Yes, I know I have been away for ages. Busy, you know. But here's what I thought about Expendables 2. Warning, there may be spoilers here.
*For complete rubbish of the highest order, the first Expendables was OK. But will the novelty of seeing all these action stars together wear out?
*Seems the violence has been ramped up slightly, or at least it seems a lot more visceral than the first
*Schwarzenegger is looking older but considering he's 65 he's still doing OK
*Considering the faces of Van Damme and Stallone amongst many others others, there's enough Botox here to fill the Grand Canyon
*Really, The Expendables should refer to all the poor nameless Asian and Russian henchmen who are dispensed with like so much dog food. I know it's par for the course in movies like this but still it's rather ridiculous.
*So, a bunch of rock hard and violent men can snap necks in a variety of bloody and different ways but not one of them ever mentions the word 'fuck'.
*Billy recounts a long sob story about the war and then talks about the beautiful French nurse he wants to leave the mercenary life for. It's like when a soldier in a WWII movie shows a picture of his fiancee and says 'This is my girl, we're going to get married when this damnable war is over': you're looking at the screen and going 'He's dead'
*Willis, Schwarzenegger and Stallone have fun doing each other's catchphrases and generally making fun of all their careers. Norris also turns up to spout one of those 'Chuck Norris Facts' and laugh at himself: though he seems slightly less willing to do so
*The film is still just a noisy orgy of explosions and wanton destruction though. Even though there's some wit, it gets grating and dull. Bet you there'll be another sequel....